Day 89: Guilt character

 

The guilt character is under the impression that he did something wrong and should theoretically be punished for his ‘wrong doing’. The guilt character steps in, in the moment where self acknowledges within oneself that self was ‘wrong’ and should be punished or where another person points out one’s wrong doing and self agrees to the fact that self did something ‘wrong’.

 

The concept of right and wrong is pre-programmed within and as ourselves through our parents / guardians and as such we will adopt their value systems and morality as to what is right / wrong. Whether this is in fact so is another blog on its own. Thus the key ingredient within this blog and within the guilt character is that one has the PERCEPTION and thus BELIEVES that self did something wrong.

 

So – When we see ourselves within a position where we perceive ourselves to have done something wrong we access the guilt character within and as ourselves where we feel that we need to ‘repent’ for our ‘sins’. Thus accepting and allowing ourselves to go through a state of guilt, which is how we ‘punish’ ourselves for having done this ‘wrong’ thing. We remain in this state of guilt for as long as we are reminded by other people or by our environment by how ‘wrong’ we were within our doings. Thus guilt is also connected to memory in how long we keep on being reminded or our wrong doing.

 

When another person catches one in an act of ‘wrong doing’ or one is caught out in what one did ‘wrong’, the guilt character steps forward as we had learnt in our youth that when we act and show that we feel guilty – that our parents / peers will not come at us as hard, as they presume that we understand that our actions are ‘wrong’. Guilt is thus seen to be a self-punishing act. Though when we enjoy / derive pleasure from what is seen to be ‘wrong’ within our familial / societal / cultural structures we have learnt to keep these things secret and will only act guilty when our moral peers / family catch us in the act. Within our secret mind we may carry guilt for what we are doing but through suppression we can hone out our guilt feelings.

 

Within this acceptance within and as ourselves that we should be punished for our wrong doings we are tacitly accepting that when we are experiencing guilt, we are in fact repenting for our sins – But when we look closely at guilt and how we play out this emotion within and as ourselves – We see no self-direction – we see no corrective application – We only see ‘I am sorry’. Accepting self to enter into a state of ‘being sorry’ carries no real value of self direction and self-application – It is a stalemate emotion where self is able to ‘feel bad’ for what one has done and thus also opens up a door where self can ‘step into’ the same pattern (of wrong doing) again; essentially tacitly giving ourselves permission to repeat the same patterns as we did not stand up within and as ourselves and changed the pattern – We just allowed ourselves to ‘feel bad’ about doing something that is apparently ‘wrong’.

 

Accepting guilt is thus an act of forgiveness in the religious sense where we accept our guilt and do repentance on our sins to be washed clean of our sins. But the moment we are ‘forgiven’ by our moral peers / family / ourselves we forget about our act and thus when faced with the same pattern again – and doing the same ‘wrong’ thing again – we just go back to our act of repentance. Repeating and perpetuating the same pattern with no real self-movement and self-application of understanding the consequences of our actions. It is a strange custom that we had created where if we ‘feel guilty’ / ‘repent our sins’ others /self will forgive us – But what about actual change within and as self – actual self-willed / self-directed application where we no longer ‘step into’ acts of feeling guilty – but actually make a change within and as ourselves to not repeat the same patterns again.