This is a continuation to:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a chameleon character where I would ‘change my colours’ as the different characters that I become as and when I am in the presences of people that I have a memory stored of an experience that we had together and through this I forgive myself that I did not accept and allow myself to see, realise and understand that to ‘change my colours’ as the different characters that I become is to live in the past as memories that I had gathered about the people that I know and within that, not realizing that I'm not 'here' in fact, living as who I am, breath by breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to store memories of people and my experience with these people in that past, keeping me trapped in the past as I become the expression that the memory contains, thus ignoring life as it here in the moment, and trying to recreate an experience that I had lived in the past, not seeing, realising and understanding that I am keeping both me and the person who I have a memory of trapped in the past as a memory that I hold onto as precious.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to build up a database of memories where my chameleon character can access an array of characters depending on the memories that pop up while I am in the presence of a person who I have a memory stored of and through this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on these characters to live my life on my behalf where I am no longer present within and as the moment as I have accepted and allowed a graven image as a memory to direct me here as who I am within this moment.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what is here within and as the breath to the point where I am unable to see the memories flashing through my mind where I within an instant become the character that these memories represent within and as myself and through this I forgive myself that I had not seen, realised and understood that I had placed a graven image before me as life.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to agree to the content of the memories within and as myself where I would in absolute faith become the characters that the memories are representing for me to become and through this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to place my faith in memories of the past to decide on my behalf who to be and how to act within and as a moment as I had not seen, realised and understood that acting on memories is living in the past, which is living backwards, which when ‘live’ is spelled backwards one gets to the word ‘evil’.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to change who I am within and as a moment where my demeanour would change as another person enters my space that I have a stored memory of within and as myself as an experience that I had with that person and through this I forgive myself that I would accept and allow this change within and as myself to be a real expression of who I believe I am and through this I forgive myself that I have not seen, realised and understood that if I am able to change as who I am with another person then who I am within and as that moment is not a real expression of who I am but is induced through my experience with the person I am with.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed my facial expression to change and how I feel within and as myself by feeling that I am loved, accepted, safe and submissive when accessing the chameleon character with my friend and through this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to place value on this feeling within and as myself where I would want to ‘feel’ this feeling within and as myself, so I would allow myself to ‘feel’ what I am feeling to become the character that I am with the friend that I am with and through this I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself see, realise and understand that I had accepted and allowed myself to change my colours to suite my environment as my friend who is my environment within and as that moment.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to store a memory of a picture within and as my mind where I am feeling safe, feeling loved, feeling accepted and feeling submissive within and as myself and through this I forgive myself that I had given this picture of myself more value than who I am within and as the breath where I would give permission for this memory as a picture within and as my mind to manifest as a character that I become when and as I am in the presence of my friend.
I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am becoming different characters when I enter into different environments as different people within and as my environment and through this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to justify to myself why it is ok to become different characters within and as life as I have justified that everyone else is doing it and through this I forgive myself that I had not seen, realised and understood that I am the one who undermines myself as who I am through me accepting and allowing these different characters within and as myself to manifest as expressions of who I am.
I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to utilise moments where I have seen characters within and as myself colliding where I am in a situation where different environments as different people in my life come together and through this I forgive myself that I had hidden the characters colliding within and as myself under layers of feeling uncomfortable when I am in a situation where two of my chameleons’ characters are colliding and through this I forgive myself that I have even been stubborn to the point where I would blatantly ignore that I am the source of my discomfort as the two characters are colliding where I would find a reason and blame my environment for my discomfort within and as myself.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to bring together two of my environments as two different groups of people where I had chosen two very opposite characters to be an expression of within these two very different environments and through this I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to not to see, realise and understand that I had chosen two very different characters to be with these two different groups of friends and through this I forgive myself that I had not before seen, realised and understood that it was just characters that I was playing with these two groups of friends and were not in fact real expressions of who I am within and as myself and through this I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am the one who is changing who I am, by accepting and allowing myself to become these different characters within and as myself when I am in the presence of these different people and through this I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that the characters that I had chosen is not who I am as they are able to change when my environment changes.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to try and ‘fit into’ my environment by becoming different characters within and as myself as I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that just being who I am as an expression of life is ‘not enough’ to be part of the crowd that I am finding myself within and as and through this I forgive myself that I had abdicated my responsibility towards who I am as life to become more than life to become part of the group that I am with and through this I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to be an expression of life as what is here within and as breath.
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